ROLL THE FIRST STONE

In the midst of writing his autobiography, Keith Richards has confessed to occasionally reading the Bible, perhaps to see if he features in the book, which might cast some light on those lost early years of his life.

It might be fair to suppose that Keith is struggling for information about that short time period in his life when he was totally consumed by drug use, a period which most of us would call 'youth' to 'middle age'.

And has the Bible helped him to find that inner peace to give him some sort of understanding on the man he has become?

Has it fuck. Or as Keith puts it:

"I read the Bible sometimes but it bores me to death. I just want to know what other people find so bloody fascinating. Why are they all hung up on all that, 'In the beginning' stuff?"

Quite right, Keith. In the beginning was 'Come On' and then 'I Wanna Be Your Man'. You may have come round in the 1970s for a while (remember 'Miss You'?) but that's about that, career wise.

Happy to help. Here endeth the lesson.