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KEANU REEVES TURNS DOWN 'BILL AND TED' REMAKE

BOGUS, DUDE

KEANU REEVES TURNS DOWN 'BILL AND TED' REMAKE

keanureeves.jpg
In a totally expected move, refined thespian Keanu Reeves has declared that he will not be participating in the mooted remake of 'Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure', which is bad news for the other bloke (Alex Winter) who hasn't had a lot of work lately.

It was hoped that Keanu would make time to reprise his role as the idiotic Bill S. Preston Esq, still probably the finest work he's ever done as it required the least acting. But no, the acting colossus who managed to stink out two of the three Matrix films with his less than animated performances (though the scripts didn't help) has ruled himself out.

"If there is [a remake], I'm not there."

He declared with his usual fiery intonation and lust for life. He really is the most talentless 'A'-lister around (in my humble opinion). Cards on the table – apart from the first 'Matrix' film, 'Point Break' and the 'Bill and Ted' films, has he been watchable in anything?

Shame really, he really does have a fine gift for comedy, as anyone who saw him play Jonathan Harker in 'Bram Stoker's Dracula' can testify. That hilarious English accent ("Whoa! He's totally like a bat!") had me in stitches for weeks.

COMMENTS
Fabio on Tue 08 April 2008 said...
Speed is pretty good
bastardcuntflaps on Tue 08 April 2008 said...
Speed is top quality.
bastardcuntflaps on Tue 08 April 2008 said...
Speed is top quality.
blackndekker on Tue 08 April 2008 said...
lets not forget point break: "sir, I take the skin off chickens"
MrsMoon on Tue 08 April 2008 said...
Dracula, apart from Gary Oldman, was a complete farce, badly miscast, stagey and over the top...and Alex Winter is now a director, i think, he's not on the sausage roll or anythink.
BustySinclair on Tue 08 April 2008 said...
Alex Winter was a manificently mulleted vampire in Lost Boys
Bunglist on Tue 08 April 2008 said...
i thought alex winter was dead
emmaev1307 on Tue 08 April 2008 said...
Errr, sorry to point out the flaws but Keanu Reeves was Ted Theodore Logan in Bill and Ted movies. 'Twas the ugly one who was Bill.
strangelad on Tue 08 April 2008 said...
Instead the sturdy block of 2x4 is going to be remake the classic "The Day The Earth Stood Still", hurrah!The new version will have an ecologic message. How does that work exactly? In the original film Klaatu came and warned humanity that fucking around with nukes will only be tolerated for so long as they will eventually start using them in space and become a threat to other species. Well bugger me, try putting an eco slant on that one, "ermm, you humans, I say! Stop messing with your environment as it may affect other galaxies because" errr.... A) "we rely on your planet for Eastenders?" B) "if you all die then who are we going to anal probe" C) "King Elvis says so" If anyone can think up a plausible storyline then please contact Warners as I doubt they've got a fucking clue.
Dissident on Tue 08 April 2008 said...
Cheers, Strangelad, how perfectly relevant. Incidentally, Devil's Advocate was a most enjoyable film. And Keanu Reeves did not play Keanu Reeves... he played Keanua Reeves putting on a Southern accent. "Ah don' lose! Ah ween! Ah ween! Ah'm a loyyyer! Tha's mah job, tha's what ah do!" Mmmmm... acting goodness
thundachick on Tue 08 April 2008 said...
ok, lets see...speed, the original matrix, point break and the 2 bill and teds..5 decent films in cuntanus' illustriious 20+ year career..give that dude an oscar already!
personunavailable on Wed 09 April 2008 said...
I'm so upset, he didn't add a "dude" after "I'm not there."
BustySinclair on Wed 09 April 2008 said...
Devils Advocate was tops, Al Pacino was perfectly cast as the Devil.
HeyLyla on Fri 11 April 2008 said...
Alex Winter went on to be a pretty successful director - I dunno that he actually needs the money.
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