Permission to fuck off

Just when you thought you'd never have to see his stupid chinless face or hear his whining voice again, Justin Hawkins is back, and set for a starring role in a film.

Hawkins will play Screaming Lord Sutch in Nick Moran's directorial debut, 'Joe Meek', according to The Sun. The film is the story of the bumpkin-voiced nutjob producer who quit this world in the mid-sixties, blowing his landlady away before turning the shotgun on himself.

The balding rock squawker managed to come out with a suitably lame quote, clearly pleased about inflicting his ridiculous posturing on an innocent public once again. "Not since I was understudy to the back end of a pantomime horse in the school play have I experienced the roar of the greasepaint," Hawkins said. And oh, how we laughed.

Hawkins has always been noted for his ability to whine at even the most minor misfortune (though having been booted out as a contender for Eurovision by the collection of prancing tits that were Scooch, at least one of his moans is understandable).

Irritatingly, I've heard that Moran's film is shaping up to be pretty good. I just hope that Hawkins gets slammed by the critics so he can fuck off back to the obscurity he so deserves.