I Fought The Law And The Law Won

Professional misery guts Jude Law sank deeper into his premature mid-life crisis by being arrested for allegedly assaulting a photographer outside his home in Maida Vale.

Big, butch Jude proved his manly credentials by grabbing at a camera lens and causing 'minor injuries' to a photographer, who must have been made out of candy floss and rice paper to be hurt by this snarling man mountain. He appears to have scratched the photographer's cheek and also, heartbreakingly, skinned his knee (not in the Hannibal Lecter sense). The heartless bastard!

Jude denied the charges and was bailed pending future enquiries, which he will probably tell his entourage meant that he 'really stuck it to The Man, yeah?'

Police refused to confirm the identity of the person arrested, as usual, but did release this helpful statement...

"A 34-year-old man from Maida Vale was arrested yesterday on suspicion of actual bodily harm... The 34-year-old man was released on bail to a date in October."

If you hadn't guessed, Jude Law is 34.