Right to be so, so, so wrong

Your attention please. This is a Joss 'urban' Stone update. Joss Stone's delve into the 'Sister, Sister' accent cupboard at last week's Brits was down to nerves and NOT booze and has caused the red-wigged toothpick so much embarrassment that she's considering taking vocal lessons. "She only had one drink before she went on stage as she had an early flight the next day," blabbered the spokesperson, protecting her famous charge's honour by telling all the world's media. "She's lived in America since she was 15 but her accent becomes stronger when she's nervous. We're working on it."

We're guessing Joss feels like a royal tit to go to these extreme vocal coaching measures so we have compiled a list of people who have vocally molested harder and much more painfully than she. She could even take one of them as her inspiration! See it as our gift to you J-Sto...

1. Lulu for barking out like a Leith crack hound every time she's on Parkinson. And then quickly reverting to an elaborate home counties' twang quicker than you can say 'Wee Jimmy Krankie' when she's guffing on about shagging members of Take That.
2. Dick Van Dyke. Facking. 'Ell.
3. Ali G/ Richard Madeley. Like the gateway to hell being opened while you're eating your Cornflakes. Beyond shit.
4. Jim Robinson aka Alan Dale. Introducing the man who, comparably makes the cast of The OC look like talented actors. This is a talent of sorts.
5. Sean Connery. Literally, like he's frantically rumbled through a jumble sale of knock off accents and took home a big bag of them so he has something to show for it.
If that doesn't make you feel better about spluttering about like a raving harpy in front of your friends, family, loved ones and the rest of the world Joss, then we quite honestly don't know what will.