Like Mother, Like Daughter

Jordan, interviewed by OK! magazine, just managed to stop short of declaring how the baby had messed with her figure and made her cut down on sessions on the sunbed, but it's clear that she isn't quite displaying that satisfied glow of the new mother just yet. Perhaps that's because she is a monster, and not fit to raise her eyebrows, never mind children.

"I think all newborn babies are ugly. They look like little old men," trilled the thrilled mother. "People go, 'Aw how cute' and I think, 'No, how ugly!"

Fair warms the cockles of your heart, doesn't it? The fact that she's got the poor little fucker earning her money already seems to have slipped Jordan's nasty, shallow little mind. Peter seems somewhat quiet throughout the whole thing, perhaps because she's shut him in a kitchen cupboard and he hasn't worked out the whole 'handle/mechanics' deal yet.

Maybe we should be grateful. Next time she gives birth, Jordan will probably just eat the offspring, like a tired cat who needs a lift and really can't be arsed looking after another mouth to feed.