KATIE'S PRICE

Jordan has once again called up OK! magazine and offered them a few random thoughts in exchange for a few thousand random pounds. As usual, she's barking out details about her family, which normal people tend to keep to themselves, though luckily for the nation's stomachs she isn't talking about the size of Peter Andre's cock this time.

No, she's on that old money-spinner - how difficult it is to live with a child with learning difficulties. She may be exposing intimate details about a disabled child who has no right to reply, but those few extra thousand pounds must be helping the millionairess get on with her life happily, so it's well worth it.

Harvey suffers from autism and septo-optic dysplasia. It's hard, but the millionairess is just about managing to struggle through, and she has the other children (or "the normal ones" as she describes them) to keep her going.

"He's not a very sociable kid and he's not very tactile - I mean I'm lucky if I get a cuddle," she gushed, the light of love shining from her evil dead eyes, "but he's not as bad as some kids on the autistic spectrum. He does show affection sometimes."

It's just a pity his mother doesn't.