A RUSH AND A PUSH AND THE GLAND IS OURS

A rather mystifying message appeared on Jordan's MySpace page yesterday, purportedly written by 'Admin', and being Jordan's 'Admin' must be the most God-forsaken place on this big old planet. The post claims that Jordan fell down a set of stairs in LA and thought she'd broken both of her legs, though she seems to be fairly well-protected in the toppling forward stakes. Here's the post in full...

Dec 19, 2007 9.14am

Katie in hospital!!!!!!!!!!

"Lots of message have come in asking if Katie is ok after falling a flight of stairs in LA, from what we hear, she is walking, although at that time, she thought she had broken both legs. Peter is back in England to be with the little ones and Katie will be home soon...maybe with a little surprise, who knows, new smaller boobs?!? lol

admin x"

So did she fall, was she pushed or is this just an excuse for her to get a breast reduction and also garner the maximum amount of publicity? It's the people of LA I feel sorry for if there truly has been a Jordan breast reduction in the vicinity, because that's another two barrels full of toxic waste littering the shores of the Pacific.

If you're a genuine masochist, or just want to kill yourself over the Christmas period, here's Jordan's MySpace page. Knives at the ready and see you on the other side.