JOHNNY'S SPLIT

Well, we can't say that we didn't suspect it at the time, but it turns out that Johnny Depp was never offered $10m to be the 'face' of Trojan condoms and it was all just a big marketing ploy. Damn those marketing people! Or in the words of Bill Hicks "if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself... you are Satan's spawn filling the world with bile and garbage"..

As if Johnny would whore himself our for a condom brand for $10m when he made twice that on each of the second two Pirates films.

A representative for Depp said yesterday:

"There is no truth to this. He has not been approached."

It's almost as if there were people paid to generate publicity from nothing! Maybe Trojan have employed someone from animal rights group PETA who manage to shoehorn themselves into a celebrity story seemingly every other day.

Anyway, anything for a chance to put up a bit of Bill Hicks...