Marsh Ado About Nothing

Rumours are starting to surface suggesting that MTV is at the end of its tether with the bizarrely-nosed triumph of ambition over talent, and that the company has binned 'Totally Jodie Marsh: Who'll Take Her Up The Aisle?' before the end of production, let alone the start of transmission, and not just for the simple reason that the answer to MTV's question is no one. Or at least no one in their right mind.

Obviously, the pisspoor turn out at auditions, from a thunderously pitiful low of two to and equally terrible 'high' of eight hasn't helped.

Add this to the fact that the national press has tired of Jodie Marsh's antics, in no small part because she's irritated so many hacks and editors in the past, so can't even be arsed to write about how badly the show's audition process is progressing.

And it won't have passed MTV's attention that Marsh's last series, 'Get A Life', got pulled by broadcaster Five because it scored a record low for the channel's ratings.

However, the straw that's broken the MTV camel's back, we hear, is that Marsh already has a boyfriend, one Matt Peacock, who you can point and laugh at here.

But stop! Just when you think you've heard enough, it gets even better. Peacock has been in the news before, when he briefley dated Katie Price aka Jordan.

So there you have it, Jodie Marsh. Your career's dead in the water, no one likes you and you're shagging Jordan's cast-offs. Please vacate the stage.


WHOOPS! Correction: We've just had a call from those lovely people at MTV informing us that the show definitely is on track and in production and that the rumours of cancellation are nothing more than that.

Anyone looking forward to watching Jodie Marsh making a complete and utter arse of herself can breathe a sigh of relief. They will soon be staring slack-jawed at the telly, utterly bemused by her total lack of self-awareness when the show goes live. Woo.