ASHAMED AS A PEACOCK

Matt Peacock, the man who married Jodie Marsh in the MTV show 'Who’ll Take her Up The Aisle?' is insisting that he and the producers were lied to by the 'model', (although yesterday she claimed the complete opposite) and that he was certain that MTV knew that they were already in a relationship.

Poor Matt, a man so dim-witted that first of all he falls for the cantilever-nosed carrot and then he falls for her lies. To be outwitted by a human is often shameful, but to be completely out-thought by a human Peperami is far worse.

Now Matt has decided to fling the last vestiges of dignity to the winds by revealing the full extent of his idiocy to More magazine.

"I'd never fallen for a girl like I did with Jodie. She kept telling me MTV knew I was her boyfriend and it was all a set-up. I wasn't sure about it but I ended up agreeing to do it," he whined.

So he obviously never even thought to check with a single member of the production team? Easily done I suppose, when you're so much in love.

"They said they'd found out it was a sham. I was livid Jodie had lied to me, and them. I honestly thought they knew we were together before the audition!" he said, crossing his heart and hoping never to meet another woman like that again. Whether he knew or not, let's leave Matt alone. He's suffered enough.

"I was really in love with Jodie and wanted to make her happy," he said, miserably, staring into the distance at the last ebbings of his short-lived fame oozing over the horizon.