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Jessica Simpson wanted a baby for her 16th birthday

Missionary Position

Jessica Simpson wanted a baby for her 16th birthday

thickjess2
Pinch-faced dimwit Jessica Simpson has 'revealed' how she was into celebrity adoption before anyone else. Whoop-de-bloody-doo.

Simpson, a creature so thick she could make a bucket of flies' wings look like an emeritus professor of philosophy, explained in an interview how as a child she would go on missionary work in Mexico with her father.

Talking to Self magazine (and no, the irony is not lost on me), Simpson said: "The first time I went to [Casa Hogar Elim] orphanage, I was 16. I remember holding this baby who was found in a dumpster. I wanted to adopt him right then and there. I was like, 'Dad, can I have him for my birthday, please?'"

So that's the record put straight. Simpson was trying to pocket the world's poor unfortunates long before Madonna and Angelina Jolie got into it or Ricky Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow started quacking on about it. How fucking noble of her.

COMMENTS
DeirdreChambers on Mon 13 August 2007 said...
her dad is the perviest person ever invented, I'm sure he would have helped her get a baby for her 16th (if you know what I mean)
Darkharlequin on Mon 13 August 2007 said...
As this bird is so fuckin dim you know you could get away with all sorts of perverted gubbins with her and tell her it's normal. Possibilities are pretty much endless. Cracking tits as well.
thingymabob on Mon 13 August 2007 said...
ms simpson is a coke fiendof the highest order! she even puts ms anderton in the shade!...at least she doesn't take it up the shitter cos shes got her own money! she just takes it up the shitter!
strangelad on Mon 13 August 2007 said...
Who the fuck is this non entity? She obviously slipped off my D grade and below reality TV star radar.
JiggeryCock on Mon 13 August 2007 said...
She looks like Ryan Sidebottom on a particularly bad hair day.
ChunkyMunky on Mon 13 August 2007 said...
yep - she's got a yawning vacuum between her ears, but by christ you would!! ( and if she'd wear the daisy duke hotpants she'd be richly rewarded in man-milk!! )
Marshfield on Mon 13 August 2007 said...
Yeah definitely the ideal woman for some men. Thick as pigshit but looks pretty fine indeedy. I myself would prefer someone I could have an actual conversation with, but pussy is pussy. Get a decade's use out of it, divorce (quids in, she's too dumb for a pre-nup), and then on to the next one.
RoyKeane on Mon 13 August 2007 said...
Great fucking tits, no fucking brains, buckets of spunk on her face. Sorted
BanjoString on Tue 14 August 2007 said...
Wouldn't (Only joking, of course I would)
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