BUY BUY BABY

You can get a fair bit for six million dollars. You can rebuild a man, barely alive and make him faster, stronger and better. Or you can just spunk the lot up the wall by giving it to Jennifer Lopez in exchange for an interview about her new twins and some badly taken photographs of the family. Guess which option People magazine went for?

MSNBC are reporting that the magazine are already a bit unhappy with the deal. They should have gone the Steve Austin route after all. Jennifer’s first demand was that the magazine NEVER again refers to her as ‘J-Lo’ because that name is in the past.

“J-Lo’ was from her Puffy and Ben Affleck days; she’s in a different place now. She wants whoever does the story to not call her that in the piece or ever again for that matter.”

Yes, she’s in a different place now alright and not so much Jenny from the block as Jemmy who has bought the block and is renting it out as a tax-deductible side income. J-Lo’s other demand was more bizarre. She insisted that her skeletal husband Marc Anthony be the photographer for the shoot, despite the fact he has little experience of photography and looks too ill and weedy to actually lift a camera.

“When you’re paying an incredible amount of money for the photos, the idea of having Marc take the pictures doesn’t sit well,” said a source from the magazine, slapping their forehead and making ‘What were we thinking?’ noises.

Maybe he’s the greatest photographer in the world. Or maybe Marc managed to wangle a little deal for the photographs to ensure a little more cash? I’d imagine that J-Lo and Skeletor are going to have many more children. They’re such a good source of income, after all.