WOODEN HEART

Walking sycamore Jason Statham has grandly announced that he may consider putting aside his hardman action persona for a little while and 'branch' out into the world of romantic comedies. Does the world need a romantic lead with ridiculous hair, an even-more-ridiculous accent and a vastly inflated sense of self-importance? Surely that's Hugh Grant's job?

Statham was speaking at the launch of his latest film, a stunning portrayal of the New York art scene in which he plays Andy Warhol with a rare and touching innocence. No, sorry, his latest film is called 'The Bank Job' where he plays a car dealer drawn into a bank robbery, despite his best efforts to resist typecasting. He attended the premiere at the Leicester Square Odeon where he snarled,

"We are just waiting for a decent enough script. I'm not just going to do a romantic comedy for the sake of it."

Of course you're not, Jason. You're a man of quiet dignity and obvious integrity, a set of values which came across fully in that Kit Kat advert you did a few years back. Now all we need is a sensitive, decent writer to come up with a great idea for a romantic comedy.

Calling Guy Ritchie! Entertainment needs you and your fine range of comedic and directing skills.