SEALS THE REAL DEAL

Who’d a thunk it? One day into the New Year and there’s already a redneck storm brewing around the Spear household. Once again it’s little sister Jamie Lynn in the headlines as news emerges that her corn-chewin’ dungaree-wearin’ boyfriend (and the man who has admitted to being the father of Cletus the foetus) Casey Aldridge has been seeing other women, hopefully ones a bit older than 16-year-old Jamie Lynn.

It is reported that in particular he has been sweeting the corn of a Mississippi gal named... wait for it... Whitney Seals, who just sounds like one of the classiest little ladies around. Her brother Kevin, a shuddering mass of inbreeding and suspicion confirmed the news to MSNBC.com.

"Whitney and Casey have been dating for months. I know Jamie Lynn was really upset and jealous when she found out about it," he squinted, breathing noisily through his mouth and occasionally shooting out gulps of astonished laughter.

What is it about the Spears family that attracts such princes amongst men? Seems like if you can chew tobacco and walk upright then you have a chance with the whole clan. And if you can listen closely you can just hear Paul Danan exiting a tobacconists on his way to the airport.