Jade Goody is incapable of controlling her dog

Pig Hates Dog

Published on Mon 23 July 2007 by IanMcShane

Jade Goody is incapable of controlling her dog

With a little bit of luck, this might be the last story I ever have to write about Jade Goody. The grotesque blimp has been so punctured by well aimed, barbed comments - particularly from those who hate racism - that she's slowly been deflating, with only the odd hiss of air drawing attention to her dying career.

Well, here's the last fart before she hits the ground and is broken up for scrap, like a porcine Nazi zeppelin.

Jade is getting rid of her dog, as it's chewing the furniture and shitting everywhere. That's it. The end of a glorious tabloid career, but quite apt for Jade as it's about an uncontrollable dog and shit. Yes, this is the best that Team Goody can come up with to pump life back into the broken-backed dirigible that once made them soar so high.

So long, Jade. You may find that the problems persist after you have the puppy destroyed - that fuckwit of a boyfriend is probably the one chewing the sofa and throwing turds around.

If I was forced to share a house with you, that's EXACTLY how I'd behave.

Jade Goody, Dog, Jack Tweed, Big Brother, Racism Row, Holy Moly, Celebrity News, Gossip

pass it on print article

WALK THE BANK
MEAT THE BEATLES
YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANNA BE MY LOVER
THEY TRIED TO MAKE HIM GO TO REHAB
IS THIS THE GREATEST NAME IN THE WORLD?

IS IT ANY BLUNDER
HBO NO-NO
OWN GOALY MOLY
NEWSMOUND
HELP PROTECT DOLLY PARTON'S 'MOUNTAINS'

COMMENTS

		pondscum on Mon 23 July 2007 said... That headline is wrong...it should read either Jade Goody is incapable. or Jade Goody is a dog. Get it right HM
		Vileman on Mon 23 July 2007 said... Or Jade Goody's dog is incapable of keeping her under control. Chances are that it's her who's shitting all over the place and then blaming the dog.
		ChunkyMunky on Mon 23 July 2007 said... Have given it a lot of thought and reckon that a good old-fashioned straight jab ( to knock the teeth out and stop any fishwifey bawling ) would do for starters, followed by dropping a stonehenge style menhir effort on her head, as in life of brian??? If could park her boyfriend/any other family member sharing a strand of the same DNA underneath too would be a bonus???
		HalfdeadFred on Mon 23 July 2007 said... send her to Japan they know what to do with a beached whale
		Kangaroo on Mon 23 July 2007 said... She really is a repulsive twat isn't she!
		Kermit on Mon 23 July 2007 said... I just love how this whale is trying to look "classy" - silvery grey dress, Ray ban, attempting to look demure- oh and a glass of punch in her hand.... you're fooling no one. You're just a cheap, foul mouthed, common racist pig from Essex. Strongly demonstrates again that no matter how much cash you have, it really doesn't buy style nor class.
		strangelad on Mon 23 July 2007 said... Bizarre that you should say that as the only place I've seen waste breathe on this mongoloid lump is here on HM, everyone has started writing about Danielle Lloyd and any BBC she can lay her hands on.
		strangelad on Mon 23 July 2007 said... Bizarre that you should say that as the only place I've seen waste breath on this mongoloid lump is here on HM, everyone has started writing about Danielle Lloyd and any BBC she can lay her hands on.
		JiggeryCock on Mon 23 July 2007 said... Hold hard folks! This looks like an opportunity for a bizarre showbiz opportunity between Jade and Sharon Osbourne - a woman whose been known to throw her own turds hither, thither and yon (particularly yon) - and who could be persuaded to do the same with canine crap, especially if there's on offchance of some column inches and a photograph.
		on Mon 23 July 2007 said... Burning this bitch with phosphorous from the feet up would be too good for her...it would however probably be extremely entertaining so somebody bass me the 'willy pete grenade'!
		ivor on Mon 23 July 2007 said... She lives just up the road from me . . if I ever bump into her, I can assure you I physically will. Preferably with a pair of scissors in my hand. How this can excuse for a person who pretends to be thick as pig shit have so much money when cunts like me work my arse off to see her plastered all over my TV/birds closer mag/HM! Please HM no more stories about this useless piece of cunt skin
		Sundaeg1rl on Mon 23 July 2007 said... Strangelad, if you spent any time here at all you'd realise that Mr. HM only knows gossip on a handful of cunts, Jade Goody being one of them (the rest being the Beckhams, Kate 'n' Pete, John Travolta, Madonna and Tomkat). I'm still waiting on an in-depth report from the bottom of Carmen Electra's knicker drawer.
		Sundaeg1rl on Mon 23 July 2007 said... Oh, I forgot Amy Birdsnest.
		Marshfield on Mon 23 July 2007 said... Really HM - must you force this dog and her story about her dog upon us? No more until she either starts gobbling someone who purposely isn't a white man (it's only a matter of time, way behind the Danielle Lloyd PR team though) or until the vet gets confused and acccidently puts the wrong creature out of it's misery. I can't wait for UK Gold to repeat the Davina chatshow special star guest in the finale - Ms Jade Goody - although it's probably already on Youtube. Watch in retrospective joy as Davina and Jade sycophantically lavish praise upon one another. Cut to Christmas Day 2007 when Jade wonders where all her Christmas Cards are from her 'celeb' friends. Why she has no invite to a New Year party, and chances it by turning up to the McCall residence blacked up as Charley, where nobody really notices until the real Charley turns up.
		lotusnz on Tue 24 July 2007 said... well i like her that shipla shitty is so old news, PS DROWN YOU POM CUNTS
		on Tue 24 July 2007 said... lotusnz Shilpa might be old news but she's also fit. Therefore she wins automatically. This hateful pig should be hunted down and killed, preferably with an axe or a machete...and I'd make her watch as I let the pooch eat her foot that I've just hacked off. PS FUCK OFF AND STEAL SOMETHING CONVICT
		dandyboy on Wed 25 July 2007 said... hasn't someone drowned this cunt yet?Why the fuck is she still allowed to snuffle around on this earth using up oxygen that proper people actually need?