LET'S ALL HAVE A FRITTATA PARTY

THE EVIDENCE AGAINST:

1. PEA SOUP IN A FLASK which Nigella managed four cups of, including one on a bus and another in the back of a cab. She also walked out of Knightsbridge tube station with no bag or jacket and no pockets. BUT A FLASK OF SOUP.
2. Nigella on a fake bus filled with extras pretending it is perfectly normal for the wife of a drippingly-rich art dealer to catch a bus into town drinking soup out of a flask with an inane grin.
   
3. Nigella in a fake cab doing the same but with some fucking noodle salad that happened to be lying around.
4. Nigella's invisible husband Charles Saatchi - who now obviously lives in the cellar eating Pot Noodle.
5. Rushing to her freezer with her DENIM JACKET STILL ON, with not even enough time to put her handbag down, in order to get the single frozen chopped banana in its own freezer bag that she keeps there for her emergency smoothie.
6. How wonderful Nigella manages to juggle her frantic lifestyle as a mother, wife AND career woman, without thinking that no one in their right mind has enough time to make fresh puff pastry choc au pain for when their accountant pops round, so they can eat them in the garden, washed down with grenadine and grapefruit juice (which reminds me - i think i'm just out of grenadine) and proclaims "I'll sign THAT off!"
7. A FUCKING FRITTATA PARTY!
8. Jumbleberry Crumble. wtf?
9. Bitch, are you telling me how to make an omelette?
10. Waking up with hair and make-up done and FULLY CLOTHED under her dressing gown.
11. Flapping about to turn off the alarm as though she was really asleep and not being surprised at the WHOLE CAMERA CREW IN THE ROOM.

Add yours below, or indeed defend this dreadful show should you wish - my work here is done.