NOT SO INNOCENT

Have we underestimated Britney Spears all along? Is she actually playing games with the paparazzi whilst cashing in on the deal? Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Truly great questions of our age. There have been rumours around Hollywood that Britney is being royally played by her new beau Adnan Ghalib, who just happens to be a paparazzi photographer, but is it the other way around?

The good people of LA are convinced that Adnan is using his close relationship with Britney in order to take a series of jaw-dropping exclusive snaps which he will then sell to the highest bidder when she goes totally ga-ga and is made to have a nice lie down in a room with lovely soft walls.

Britney's ex, Prince Kevin of Federline, is so concerned that he has reportedly instructed yet another set of lawyers to find some unsavoury aspects to the photographer's character and expose them to the world, in order to get him deported from the US, though if this were turned around then Kevin would be banished to a small trailer in Mississippi.

Now the rumours are that it is actually Britney who has the master plan, with various shots of her and Adnan in 'cosy' positions being sold to the press for vastly inflated sums and the proceeds going straight towards Britney's 'I done want a big shiny car' fund. Adnan is reportedly in cahoots with the mental star, allowing himself to be pictured eating ice cream with the her and going behind a videocamera to hear her smirking side of the 'breadown' last week.

A set of the latest pictures can be yours for a mere $700,000. Sure, Britney may lose the kids but she can easily replace them with that sort of money. It'll just take a quick banker's draft and a phone call to Madonna for advice.