OUT, DAMNED CLOT!

There have been many bad ideas in the history of the world. Genocide. Slavery. The commissioning of 'Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps, Please'. Currently topping the pile is a new musical based on the lives of David and Victoria Beckham.

A Dublin-based theatre company named 'Long Road Productions' believe that their "wild comedy romp" about the couple will be a massive success. Anyone using the phrase 'wild comedy romp" needs to have a serious word with themselves down a dark alley, for a start.

Oh God. Here's the idea. The headline-making couple will be satirised through the work of William Shakespeare, hence the proposed title 'MacBecks'. See, it's fucking hilarious already. Ronan Smith, who actually dared to come out into the open and talk about the project, seems awfully satisfied with himself and his rancid project and is no doubt the type of man who will hold his sides and say "Guffaw!" when amused.

“We’re very excited by the script. It borrows from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, King Lear and Romeo & Juliet."

Hopefully borrowing the respective murder, madness and suicides. It will feature Victoria as a Lady Macbeth figure bullying her weak husband and will also target Rebecca Loos, though hopefully not in the same way that David did.

An idea this bad must surely be some sort of tax write-off like 'The Producers'? One thing's for sure. Shakespeare or not, this abomination won't be around for the Twelfth Night.