Nicole Kidman Pregnant?

Oh dear.  Nicole’s publicist became somewhat sniffy when approached by other sources and quite reasonable pointed out, “As if I would confirm a pregnancy to the ‘News of the World’!”
Perhaps a quick perusal of Nicole’s diary might confirm the tabloid story?

Well, it seems Nicole is due to go horse riding in the outback this week, a much recommended pastime for those in the early stages of pregnancy.  Part of this will involve ‘breaking brumbies’ (which sounds like the type of lesbian activity to be found in various women’s groups, particularly around the Hebden Bridge area) but is in fact the containment and domestication of wild outback stallions.

Nicole is perfecting this art so she can appear authentic in her latest role in Baz Luhrmann’s huge new film ‘Australia’.  So, if the NOTW claim that Nicole is several months' preggers is true, there may be problems ahead.  The shoot is due to last eight fucking months.

That’s a long shoot.  Luckily Nicole will be joined on set by Hugh Jackman, so they’ll be able to while away the hours talking about soft furnishings and same sex shenanigans amongst other things, whilst brushing the flies away with some simply adorable lace fans.