MAD AND THE HATTER

The New York Post has reported that Heather Mills may be opening her leg to a new man in her life, hat-maker-turned-sculptor-turned-certifiable-lunatic David 'Obviously Not The Full' Schilling. The pair were inseparable as they attended a party at a Monaco museum, leading the newspaper to speculate that he might be the latest man in her busy love life.

"They looked very cosy and he only had eyes for her. He was showing her off and even introduced her to Prince Albert II who was also a guest at the party."

Now that would be wonderful, if Albert, the playboy prince fell under her bizarre spell, meaning that Heather could go from a fool to a King in a few easy hops. Anyway, it's Schilling who commands her attention at the moment it seems, and the milliner, famous for his outrageous and barely-wearable designs has commented in the past:

"I love women to look beautiful and could never let a woman walk out of my shop wearing a hat that I didn't think suited her."

So expect to see Heather in a lovely brown paper number soon with a pair of eyeholes cut out so she can see where the next dose of cash is coming from.