MILLS AND BUFFOONS

Stop the world! I'm getting off, if this story that came out over the weekend is to be believed. Apparently, readers of FHM magazine (yeah, it still exists) currently have Heather 'Jack Nicholson from The Shining' Mills at 95 on their list of 100 sexiest women in the world..

Is this some sort of sick joke? Apparently 1000 people a day are voting for Mills in the yearly poll, putting her ahead of Paris Hilton, Gwen Stefani and Kirsten Dunst. 

Chris Bell, FHM's deputy editor, said:

"Heather Mills has always been vilified as a gold-digger with a dubious past. But readers have realised she's about to become the world's most eligible - and richest - single woman."

OK, she may be about to become extremely rich, but would anyone in their right mind go anywhere near her?

Dear readers of FHM, did you not see her performance on GMTV? Did you not find this the least sexy piece of broadcasting since Kathy Bates got her kit off in 'About Schmidt'?

Please have a very long and hard look at yourselves and see if you like what you see. Then go and purchase a new set of eyes each, a new brain and maybe take up fishing (or suicide) so that you have a little less time on your hands.  

Having said all that, it is pretty funny that a one-legged forty-year-old mentalist is generally considered more appealing than Paris Hilton..