GOLDIE DUCKIN' FAME

It must be sheer hell for Hollywood's premier couple, having to dodge the press all the time, whilst fitting family life into busy schedules, attending all those awards ceremonies and picking up gongs for their magnificent work. And in comparison, how dull it must be for Goldie Hawn and partner Kurt Russell, who most people didn't realise were still alive. anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I loved Kurt's work in 'Escape To And From New York And Somewhere Else' and 'Stargate' (that was him, wasn't it?) and Goldie's work in... Well, her lovely work all round, about 50 years ago, but I find it hard to believe that this pair, and her daughter Kate Hudson, are besieged by photographers around their Aspen home morning, noon and night, as they claim.

Well, as Goldie claims. Kurt has wisely stayed indoors watching himself in 'Stargate' again (that WAS him, wasn't it?).

"They've come into our little town and they really have done their job: They've shooed us out. But it ain't like the old days anymore. You find yourself running and dodging and jumping in your car. I can't go into my own town. I hurt for my children. It's not fair," whined Goldie, her piercing blue eyes still shining through the scrotum of her face.

Come on you pesky paparazzi, play fair. And who the fuck is paying you for pictures of this washed up pair anyway?