HUMBLE PIE-FACE

Geri Halliwell has been reliving those horrible times before she was one of the wealthiest women in music and was forced to be driven to school in a less than impressive car, the utter martyr. Her family were not wealthy and poor Geri was targeted during her schooldays because of this. Or so she believes.

"There was a girl at school who threatened to throw me over the railway tracks. I maybe didn't think of myself as a misfit but I came from a humble background."

Girls will be girls. I'd like to throw Geri over railway tracks and she's absolutely loaded now, so maybe it had nothing to do with money? No, Geri is convinced this is the case, feeling "embarrassed" at her family's lack of money. And it is a grim tale, almost Dickensian (think 'Ever so 'umble' Uriah Heap), so try to hold back the tears.

"My parents didn't have much money and my dad would drop me off in this old Mazda car. It was really old and I'd feel a little embarrassed."

Gasp! An old Mazda! The bastard – what was he thinking? That's even worse than those Victorian children forced to shimmy up chimneys and lick them clean. I bet... sob... Geri only ever got turkey for Christmas and never goose! It's a hard life, growing up in Hertfordshire, and don't let anyone tell you any different.