HEAD BANGER'S BAWL

George Michael has finally revealed to the world where his musical talent comes from. Not from God, but from a bang on the head as an eight-year-old which smashed his little senses so badly that a few years later he was able to pen 'Wham Rap' - surely an indicator of some severe mental trauma.

He told the bemused presenter of BBC's 'Desert Island Discs' of the accident, and if his blunt cranial trauma story is correct, then Mozart must have been shaken to hell and back as a baby.

"At the age of about eight I had a head injury and I know it sounds bizarre and unlikely, but it was quite a bad bang, and I had it stitched up and stuff, but all my interests changed, everything changed in six months," he burbled.

"I used to get up at five o'clock in the morning and go out into this field behind our garden and collect insects before everyone else got up and, suddenly, all I wanted to know about was music, it just seemed a very, very strange thing."

Very strange indeed, though George hasn't quite given up the whole nature thing, if reports are to be believed, only now he embraces creepy things like fat lorry drivers in fields at night. And he's got quite a collection, I believe.