HAVEN'T GOT A CLOONEY

In the run up to the Oscars next month, George Clooney has been upping his media profile and showing what a wag he is - this time saying he hates Daniel Day-Lewis for being talented. Amazing as it may seem, the man who played arguably the worst Batman has been short-listed for an Oscar (for Michael Clayton) but at least Clooney knows he hasn't got a chance against the far superior Day-Lewis.

He's seen Day-Lewis in 'There Will Be Blood' and says:

"If you want my honest opinion, I think it's going to be Daniel Day-Lewis. He sort of irritates all of us because he's so good. I'll tell you right now, I don't like him."

Instead of picking films that require him to wear a Kevlar codpiece and battle 'Mr Freeze', Clooney should maybe go for period dramas where wearing a large moustache and putting on a rubbish Irish accent win you critical acclaim. That and have some mental issues and die at the end... or be called Tom Hanks.

Talking of Tom Hanks, how the fuck did he win an Oscar for 'Forrest Gump'? And who was in charge when 'Dances With Wolves' and 'Braveheart' won Best Picture in he Nineties? Tell us what you think is the most shockingly fucked up Oscar win and the best one gets a £1.99 DVD of 'Driving Miss Daisy' (yes, that was best film in 1989).

EDIT: Clooney won the Best Supporting Actor award for 'Syriana' in 2006 but hasn't won Best Actor.