COLEMAN'S FLUSTERED

Inside Edition have splashed the scoop of the year, nay the century. Gary Coleman got married! Not Oldman, the Dracula actor, but Coleman, the diminutive "Whatchoo talkin' about Willis?" star of long-dead US sitcom 'Different Strokes'(and who now looks like Eastenders' Patrick Trueman's Mini-Me). What's more, he got married last August and still managed to keep it from the news-hungry press that dog his every step.

As we've seen with Britney, sometimes it's time to draw the line when someone is mentally ill, not take the piss and wish them well. Gary Coleman isn't at that stage. Yet. But fuck me, it's getting close, judging by the following quotes from Inside Edition. First of all, Gary explains that they kept their marriage a secret because his partner Shannon Price doesn't want to be known as Gary Coleman's wife. Not the best of starts, is it?

"I wouldn't want that in a million years. I wouldn't want you to be known as Gary Coleman's wife. I hope you do get successful. She's a great e-Bayer. She's a fabulous e-Bayer. I hope she gets famous for that."

We ALL hope she gets famous for that, rather than for being murdered by her husband in one of his rages. Gary admits that he has attended anger management sessions, or as Shannon mildly puts it,

"He actually got a disorderly conduct ticket one time because we had gotten into an argument, just a minor argument in Provo. The guy gave him a ticket and he freaked out and he was on six months probation."

The anger management doesn't appear to be working out to date.In fact, they weren't working out on the morning of the actual interview when he snapped again, as he tried to throw a computer printer (a whole printer, mind you) at his wife.

"I threw the printer because my agent wanted to send me a fax, and it wouldn't fax, and she was upset at me over something that I had done. And I just took that printer and said, 'You know what, you just need to die.'"

Fair enough. Don't know about you, but this is my favourite celebrity couple of the moment.