PEPPER PLOT

The marketing department at soft drinks company Dr Pepper are clearly big fans of Guns N' Roses (who'd have thought marketing people were middle-aged, middle of the road types) judging by their latest scheme. They have promised to provide a free can of their unpalatable brew to every man, woman and child in America if Axl Rose finally pulls his finger out and releases the long-awaited 'Chinese Democracy' album this year.

Axl has been working on the album for over 13 years now, and most people could probably wait another 13 without losing a minute's sleep, but not the marketers of Dr Pepper. They've clearly seen a chance to promote their drink for free, because let's face it, there's more chance of Jimi Hendrix popping into the studio and working feverishly on an album than of Axl doing the same.

The only people who will not be provided with a free sugary drink (that tastes like it has been strained through a tramp's underwear) are former Guns N' Roses members Slash and Buckethead, who must be regretting their hasty decisions to leave the band and get on with their lives. That decision has cost them. About 90 cents. With typical marketing bollocks, Dr Pepper declared:

"It took a little patience for us to perfect Dr Pepper's special mix of 23 ingredients, so we completely understand and empathize with Axl's question for the perfect album. We know once it’s released, people will refer to it as “Dr Pepper for the ears” because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds - an instant classic."

Come on, Pepsi, pull your finger out! Get your thinking hats on a come up with a new winner for Most Tenuous Marketing Tie-In Of The Day. The gauntlet has been thrown down!