Eau De Madge

You'd think that working with Madonna would be the just the thing for any aspiring fashion stylist. Well, that's what you'd think...

Surprise, surprise, Madge is not quite the bundle of laughs one fash mag stylist thought she'd be. For a start, Mrs Ritchie's house stinks of a floral perfume that's pumped into each room, reports World Of Wonder, leaving any visitor reeking like a cheap car air freshener when they leave.

And while the kids aren't exactly running feral, they appear to either be little models of their mother or subject to her barking demands. Lourdes is as off-hand as her mum, while David is under strict orders to start walking now or face the consequences.

"She put him on the floor and asked [David], 'Are you going to walk today?'" WOW records, "before fixing him with a stern stare and pointing her finger and repeating, 'ARE YOU GOING TO WALK TODAY?'" Charming.

And don't leave anything behind when you've visited Madonna's house either, or you'll discover that she can swear just as well as Tony Soprano on a bad day: "As the stylist was leaving the house, he heard Madonna calling an assistant on the house phone. She said, 'He fucking left the fucking rack of clothes in my room. Come and move this fucking rack out of my room.'"