GOOD CHARLOTTE'S WEB

US magazine 'Star' has come up with a story about celebrities, but frankly it's exhausting, and sounds like the introduction to the American series 'Soap'. Bear with me. Here we go. Nicole Richie (daughter of Lionel) is upset. Her husband Joel Madden (celebrity spouse and member of the band Good Charlotte) was targeted for some special attention at a club by a female movie star named Lindsay Lohan (who appeared in the last 'Herbie' film apparently).

Luckily, also in attendance was Nicole's best friend/greatest enemy Paris Hilton (wonky-eyed heiress) who texted Nicole (co-star of US show 'The Simple Life' with wonky-eyed heiress Paris Hilton) to say that her husband was flirting with another woman (Lindsay Lohan of 'Herbie' fame). Actually, fuck it. Let 'Star' magazine relate the tale, because I'm frankly exhausted.

"The trouble started for the new mom after she decided to stay home with their 4-month-old daughter, Harlow, while Joel deejayed at Hornitos' Cinco de Mayo party at Crown Bar in L.A. However, while there, the Good Charlotte rocker seemed more interested in a seductive Lindsay than in spinning records.

"Their heads were practically touching, and he had his leg over hers," says one onlooker. "Joel has a flirtatious side, and he definitely wasn't turning her away." Nicole was immediately alerted to the situation by her arch-frenemy Paris Hilton, who sent her a devastating text message: Lindsay was all over Joel! He was so zeroed in on Lindsay, he never heard his cell ring," a friend of the couple tells Star. "Nicole felt so incredibly helpless and upset that she threw her phone against the wall in a rage."

Four idiots, a phone and a wall. That's all it comes down to. And let's hope we never hear the term 'frenemy' again.