WHAT A SUCKER

Demi Moore appeared on the Letterman Show on Monday night and had the audience retching and horrified. No, she didn't recreate the scene from 'Striptease', instead she revealed her unusual beauty treatment, having leeches applied to her body. She's surely used to leeches by now, having carried around Ashton 'only famous initially for dating Demi Moore' Kutcher for quite a few years.

So as part of a health trip to Austria, she tried the leech therapy, but it isn't done with any old leeches, you know, (channels Marks & Spencer voice) these are top grade, specially qualified bloodsucking beasts.

"These aren't just swamp leeches though - we are talking about highly trained medical leeches. These are not some low level scavengers - we're talking high level blood suckers."

Yes, highly-trained leeches. Really, some people will believe simply anything…

"We did a little sampler first, which is in the belly button. It crawls in and you feel it bite down on you and you want to go, 'You bastard.' Then you relax and work on your Lemaze breathing just to kind of relax. You watch it swell up on your blood, watching it get fatter and fatter - then when it’s super drunk on your blood it just kind of rolls over like it is stumbling out of the bar."

To be frank, it sounds like being married to Bruce Willis