ANOTHER OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP

If David Beckham came towards you with a rubbish-looking pen what would your reaction be? Probably a quick look over his shoulder to see if Posh was in the vicinity, and therefore a mad rush away. Or maybe to wrestle the thing away from him before he takes one of his own eyes out.

Here's an advert currently taking the USA by storm, largely because there's no sign of Victoria to be seen. He does do a wonderful mix of expressions in this advert, ranging from blank-faced confusion to smug blank-faced confusion.

Look! He's a multi-millionaire yet he still wants to keep these lovely pens! Maybe they're shiny. It's not a huge leap of the imagination to see David sitting in an attic in one of his mansions, surrounded by stolen pens as he cackles and plots to sell them to himself on eBay.