Step. Away. From. The. Internet.

Ever the intellectual stalwart, Courtney Love has told the whole world, via the power of MySpace, that she is not Eva Longoria.

And even more helpful than that, she's also telling us she's here to help, through her cake diet (she's pissed off that people have said she has the body of someone living through the Irish potato famine) and through her experience of arsing around like a bit of a mental these last twenty years. Very helpful, Courtney. Congrats.

"ive put on 10 pounds (thank you Sprinkles cupcakes wic h i must admit are overrated)," Love blathers on, making about as much sense as a newt running across a computer keyboard.

"I must point out the hypocrisy of this crazy hysteria about my weight...Noones going to mistake me for Eva Longoria, andmy god I am truly hAppy to be who an what i am with my life an dmy expirience i can do so many things help so many people and make such a beautiful clothing line too!"

But don't get too attached to these biting insights, she's going to pull her blog away from our prying eyes very soon.

"im gonna stop posting someone snukc in my blog subscrioptipns thats a membe rof the media or somethingt liek teh media”

U tElle it liek its COrTNEY. HooraxXYt!