LOVE IS THE MUG

Courtney Love is still insisting that fraudsters have stolen more than $200m of Kurt Cobain's money from her account (where it was resting, no doubt), despite the fact that the police have investigated her claims and found them to be missing one vital ingredient, namely a grain of truth.

Now the Hole singer claims that Cobain's mother and sister have also suffered at the hands of these ruthless and invisible con men, though it seems odd that these relatives haven't seen fit to open their mouths and confirm her story.

It's almost as if they were unaware of the situation. Courtney has managed to tell her side of the story in an unusual way: by ringing up the New York Post and leaving a series of rants on their voicemail. Bet there's no scramble to answer the phones in that office...

"Kurt's mother's home is in arrears and his sister Kim’s home was repossessed by the bank... Investigators found 62 bank accounts I never opened. His mom should have $163 million by now with amortization from her part of the will.”

Well done to Kim for remaining remarkably silent through the whole business. And Courtney is at pains to point out that she isn't exactly a rich woman herself, perhaps the reason she is whoring Cobain's reputation through the gutter by allowing all sorts of tat to be sold in his name. Converse trainers, anyone?

"My own house was refinanced four times. I have never done this. I've owned one Toyota and one Prius in my life. There are auto loans... for a Mercedes and a Bentley. Someone applied online and got 27 American Express cards and 74 Visas… Everything has been forged. There is a piece of paper with a forged signature where I supposedly declared myself incompetent and they took over everything."

Courtney incompetent? I simply couldn't imagine such a thing. Yes, it must be a forged signature. It's not as though she'd do something like that in a stupor, is it? Definitely forged.