DRONE BOOTH

What on earth has happened to Colin Farrell? The man who used to be a hard-drinking uber-shagger has admitted that he loves nothing more these days than sitting at home in his study in his slippers and looking up gossip about himself on Google, which is exactly the type of behaviour you could imagine Jade Goody espousing, but not a Hollywood star.

Colin used to be the type of man who would nudge the maggots off a dead horse in order to have sex with it, but no longer.

He's just damn dull, and it's ironic that he started his career in 'Ballykissangel' on the BBC, a show which now looks a bit racy when compared to his private life at the minute.

“I'm ashamed to admit it but I was bored the other day and I looked up my name on Google. Who am I kidding, I do it all the time!”, he giggled at his own naughtiness, the utter devil.

“For ‘Alexander’ I read every review I could get my hands on and I would say they were 80 to 90 per cent negative. Like, so personally insulting. But I read them all, and even started writing them in my head.”

Is this a man with too much time on his hands? I never thought I'd say this, but bring back the old Colin Farrell who was much more fun and less touchy-feely and dull.

Here's a tip Colin. Try typing 'Colin Farrell is a boring bastard' into Google. Hopefully this story will come up and you can have a little chat with yourself about your dull as dishwater life. Oh, and try googling 'Miami Vice was utterly shit' while you’re at it.