CHEWBACCA MARTIN

While Chris Martin used to be just the bumbling harmless geek from Coldplay who made music that was annoying but you could sort of put up with its existence because he was was so inoffensive, he now seems to be on a mission to be the DICK OF THE CENTURY. After storming out of an interview with Radio 4 when they dared to ask him about something as personal as his new album, he's now been sprouting a load of shit about baby names.

When asked about celebrities such as Nicole Kidman and Jessica Alba giving their children stupid names (Sunday Rose, Honor), the singer unsurprisingly came to their defence - well he did name his own kids Moses and Apple after all.

He told Blender magazine: "People make a big fuss over names. Names of babies, names of albums, names of bands.

"There's nothing weird about calling your baby Chewbacca if that's what you want to call your baby."

"It's no stranger than Sarah."

Are you fucking mental? In what way is naming your child Chewbacca, the name of a furry beast in a fictional film, no different from calling them one of the oldest and most popular names known in the Western hemisphere? I'd like to see Chris explain that to the bullies as they grind poor little Chewbacca Martin's face into the playground.

He goes on (doesn't he always?): "A name is just a noise, and if you like it, then fuck what everyone else says."

Well here are some noises that spring to mind when we think of the music of Coldplay (just click away)...