SHEEN IT ALL BEFORE

Pound for pound, the greatest and bitterest marriage break-up ever has been that between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, which has witnessed more mud-slinging than an appearance from James Blunt at Glastonbury.

Here's a brief précis. They split up. They argued. Charlie rang up Denise and shouted about her cancer-fighting mother with the comment, "Go cry to your bald mom, you fucking loser." In the custody battle Denise made claims about child abuse and Charlie's alleged voracious appetite for 'young' porn.

It's all gone downhill since those golden days, with Dense launching her own reality series, much to Charlie's annoyance. Hence his latest voice mail, which somehow has been made public.

Denise remains puzzled about how this has happened, claiming the tapes are two years old and had absolutely no idea that they had been leaked. Of course...

Charlie is reported to have said: "You're a fucking liar. Okay? You're a fucking liar. So, you know what it's like, fuck you. Okay, I hope you rot in fucking hell. You're a piece of shit fucking liar and I hope you fucking rot in hell. So fuck you. I hope I never fucking talk to you again you fucking cunt. Fuck you. You're a coward and a liar and a fucking nigger alright, so fuck you."

Charlie has now apologised for the use of the 'N' word.

"I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended; especially to Tony Todd, an African-American, who was my best man at my first two weddings."

'At my first two weddings.' Ha ha! Brilliant. First two and counting.