CHANELLE HAYES PLANS TO MOVE TO AMERICA

SHUT THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY OUT

Published on Tue 27 May 2008 by basko

CHANELLE HAYES PLANS TO MOVE TO AMERICA

Having failed to bother the charts, mainstream television or even late night adverts for 'sexy text chat' Chanelle has decided to follow her idol Posh Spice and move to America.

In a sudden flash of self awareness (probably just after she'd been dry humped by a hand puppet for that new MTV show) she realised that with the new Big Brother series about to start there will be a whole new line of desperate wannabees to replace her.

Or as she so succinctly puts it: "I think once the new BB series starts I could easily be a left over."

So Chanelle's going to fall back on what she does best: impersonating Victoria Beckham.

"I know Posh is still huge in the US and I think I could extend my career out there," she comments not really thinking it through.

What is it that she thinks Posh does in America she can make a career impersonating? Er shopping, complaining, launching fashion ranges no one wants? We give Chanelle two months of opening new branches of Taco Bell as a low rent look-alike before she succumbs to the inevitable porn-alike in 'Goldenballs: The Movie'.

CHANELLE HAYES, AMERICA, move, posh spice, victoria beckham

pass it on print article

DAY TWO IN VEGAS
LILY ALLEN LASHES OUT AGAIN
THE TALE OF JACK AND AMY
HERBIE: FULLY CLOTHED
NEWSMOUND

GREG'S NASTIES
ACTING UP
MILLER�S CROSSING (THE ATLANTIC)
WORKING 9 TO 9.05
BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!

COMMENTS

		MrsMoon on Tue 27 May 2008 said... Is that actually alive?
		Kitty on Tue 27 May 2008 said... I just hope she can find a decent cosmetic surgeon out there to sort out that millenium dome forehead.
		Geushky on Tue 27 May 2008 said... Vacant eyes; there is obviously NOTHING going on behind them.
		gak on Tue 27 May 2008 said... Jesus H Christ ... thats is a forehead alright... snakes alive
		MrsMoon on Tue 27 May 2008 said... ...was she one of those beings that came out of the mothership and took Richard Dreyfus away?
		Kitty on Tue 27 May 2008 said... If Chanelle is reading this (unlikely I know, as she's probably still on Spot The Dog books), three words: GET. A. FRINGE.
		JiggeryCock on Tue 27 May 2008 said... I take issue with her use of the word 'career'
		darkfung on Tue 27 May 2008 said... Look at those two gays just laughing straight at her .... Poor Chantelle !
		blaxa on Tue 27 May 2008 said... Is the guy behind her laughing at those ridiculous hair extensions?
		Krooner on Tue 27 May 2008 said... No, it's no good! Not even that forehead's putting me off.
		LuciferSam on Tue 27 May 2008 said... Nevermind the forehead, I'm transfixed by the lazy eye.
		Bunter on Tue 27 May 2008 said... Oh, bye! Shut the door on your way out.
		MidnightAction on Tue 27 May 2008 said... Happy Days!!
		Hatstand on Tue 27 May 2008 said... Her face is slipping further and further down her head??
		rachael on Wed 28 May 2008 said... WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE VICTORIA BECKHAM DOES SHE WANT TO LOOK UGLY.
		Topguntop on Wed 28 May 2008 said... i'm looking forward to goldenballs the movie i must say, regardless of that huge foreheed, i wanna see some becks lookalike draining his sack onto it.
		DickyM on Wed 28 May 2008 said... Cleavelands a nice place to start