Cameron Hugs A Woodie

It's official. Cameron Diaz and Jude Law are an item. Can you imaging the thin-haired, acne-afflicted children they might produce?

Law, a man so wooden he uses Ronseal as fake tan, is flying to the US this week to spend time with the star, taking her on a series of romantic dates before dragging her back to his place where they'll watch all his films, as Law hollers, "Watch this bit, I'm BRILLIANT in it!"

The pair worked together last year on seasonal puke-provoker 'The Holiday'. It was clear from Cameron's reaction then that she was impressed with her co-star: "Jude is charismatic, fun, open and charming. It is very easy to fall in love with him."

He's also balding, humourless and a serial cheat. And, as the paparazzi spotted, he has a cock smaller than his sense of loyalty. Quite the catch, then.