Congratulations and here's a drink on us to whoever it was that gave Calum Best that big black eye. He was out last night with some celebrities at Funky Buddha (celebrities in this case equalling footballers, Chanelle and Chantelle). Chanelle and Chantelle out together? That must have been confusing...
That's right, Funky Buddha was the place to be last night (if you want to get off with a footballer and sell it the story to the Daily Star or get in a cat fight with Chanelle and Chantelle and sell it to the Daily Star).
We're not sure how Calum got that eye or who gave it to him, but he certainly looked rather embarrassed by it. Even though he should have been more embarrassed by his ridiculous flat cap. Which is reason enough for him to get punched in the face in the first place.
And with that yellow bit around his eye (and his long head) he's starting to look a little bit like Bert from 'Sesame Street'.
You can find all the ingredients for a delicious cunt soup below...