PETA SELLERS

Media-crazed animal worshippers PETA are impressed with the recent sitcom appearance of Britney Spears where she played a receptionist. So impressed, that they have offered her money in order to work as a real-life receptionist at one of their call centres, where you can phone up and be shouted at for eating tuna and wearing leather shoes. Well, I assume that’s how it works.

This is despite the fact that Britney has been criticised by the organisation in the past for wearing various parts of animals, but for enough publicity PETA feel they can swallow their morals and offer Britney a post within their happy-go-lucky organisation. They have written an open letter to the singer, which is basically a way of getting a free advert.

"We might have criticized you in the past for contributing to the dog overpopulation crisis and wearing real fur, but perhaps now that your own crisis has abated, a new day calls for a new relationship, a new outlook, and a new understanding."

Phew, that was close! That statement could have come out sounding quite pompous if it wasn’t so beautifully written. And if Britney takes up the offer then she will earn $1000 for the children’s charity of her choice.

I wouldn’t hold your breath, PETA. She might be on an allowance and unwell but she’s not that crazy.