BRITNEY WINS THE INTERNET

Congratulations to Britney Spears, who has finally won some type of award. No, it's not the Grattan Catalogue Mother of the Year, though she must be high up in the running. Instead, Britney is the most searched-for 'thing' on Yahoo.com, with millions of people across the globe eager to see her shaven-headed breakdown, or perhaps her shaven-downstairs breakout.

"People do not know what to expect from her any more and the searches would spike every time she was back in the news," said Vera Chan, the senior editor at the search engine that isn't quite as good as Google.

"From when she shaved her head and rumours emerged from the rehab mill that she was calling herself the anti-Christ and shaved 666 on her scalp, there was constant tracking of this almost modern-day Greek tragedy happening in front of us," Vera went on, confusing the term 'Greek tragedy' with the words 'hilarious and long-awaited breakdown'.

So for six of the last seven years Britney has topped the list, toppled only once by her 'friend' Paris Hilton in 2004, the year that the phrase 'wonk-eye' was clearly on everybody's lips, though poor Paris only limped into third place this year.

Britney's people might suggest that this rating confirms that she is vital, inventive and a serious force in entertainment, so it's nice to see that the second most popular search was for WWE wrestling, whilst fourth was a huge number of geeks searching for Naruto manga. Just because something is popular doesn't mean it's any good. Ask Phil Collins.