DOZY SHUNT

Britney Spears had a lovely game of dominoes at the weekend, except she used her car instead of little plastic brick bearing dots. Obviously she isn't allowed to drive too far away from her gated community, so she had to make sure she came to someone's attention close to home. And how! Britney managed to smash into the back the car in front at fast enough speed to shunt it forward into the one in front. Oh, it's a motor insurance labyrinth that she's entered!

To add insult to injury (well OK, no one was hurt), Britney was foolish enough to damage her lovely, brand-new Audi by driving it straight into the back of an old Nissan, which before giving up the ghost forever elected to throw itself into the back of another expensive car. Probably because it wanted to get into the papers.

Oddly enough, accompanying Britney and her ever-present band of paparazzi was a police officer who saw the whole thing. He followed procedure and performed a 'field sobriety test' which the singer passed, which means he asked her, "Are you sober?" and she said "Yeah, thanks, can I go now?"

No injuries have been reported so far, though the minute the Nissan driver realises who nudged the back of his car he'll be suffering from the most severe whiplash in the history of the world.