HATS OFF TO BRITNEY

Just when you think someone can't get any better/worse something comes along that just confirms them to be completely batshit crazy...

I don't know about you, but my Monday was a pretty average day. Got up, went to work, made history, accepted award for the world's most considerate lover etc blah blahzzzz.

Britney Spears' yesterday consisted of her manager dropping her faster than Jodie Marsh's knickers followed by her lawyer distancing herself quicker than Pete Doherty in a crack-eating competition THEN in the middle of her custody battle with ex-husband Kevin Federline a secret witness stepped forward to moan about Britney sacking him because he wouldn't pick up her hat.

Seriously. He didn't hear her asking him to pick up her hat. What a grudge to hold, what a cross to bear!

The fact this man happens to be the biggest, most frightening man in the entire world means he forever commands my personal respect and adoration as a man who certainly would NEVER seek the delicious heat of publicity by blowing all things out of proportion and going balls deep into a situation that doesn't fucking concern him. I do that for a day job sunshine - join the fucking queue.

His claim against Britney being a bad mother are that "nudity, drug use and safety issues post-rehab" became a concern to him are all well and good - but fuck me - you don't half come across as an attention whore.

A big, nice, lovely, close-friend-of-mine attention whore.

Pick up my hat, bitch.