A MISSISSIPPI YANKEE IN THE COURT

To have a lawyer pull out of potentially one of the highest profile legal cases in the US for years is unfortunate. For a second legal attorney to refuse to appear in court on your behalf is downright bizarre, but it confirms two things. Britney Spears is a nightmare to work with and there's no way she's getting custody of those kids.

First to desert Britney's sinking Mississippi raft was the firm of Laura Wasser last year. They've now been joined by Trope and Trope, the firm unfortunate to have to appear in court and try to explain the whereabouts of their star client (though the answer was usually either 'Starbucks' or 'KFC, Your Honor.'

Finally, the firm have realised that they're on to a loser in the whole reputation stakes. After all, would you want to be known as the firm that succeeded in getting custody of the kids for Britney and her mad babbling head? Trope and Trope issued a less than ambiguous statement saying...

"There has been a breakdown in communications between [Britney] and Trope and Trope, making further representation of her interests impossible."

Or in other words, we don't know where she is, she won't answer the phone and we're not even sure what planet she has been on recently. And no, she didn't turn up to court for a deposition hearing yesterday like she promised she would...

Britney needn't worry, though. She looks like she spends a fair few afternoons slumped in front of the TV, so she can just call one of those esteemed legal people who are so respected that they have to advertise on TV. 'Lost your family? Not your fault? Call us!' And she can finance it all with a nice Picture Loan.