DON'T TAKE THE PEE!

More utter nonsense is issuing from the Britney Spears camp in the ongoing and increasingly-mental custody battle with Kevin Federline. Obviously, Britney wants the world to view her as a fit mother and a reformed character, so her latest request might be seen as a little surprising.

An existing ruling in the case states that Britney has to undergo a twice-weekly drug test in order to prove she is no longer snorting more than a truck-load of pigs in a truffle forest. A small price to pay for the chance of custody of the children, eh?

Well, now Britney's attorneys have asked that this terrible burden be lifted from her beefy shoulders. They want all random drug testing removed so that Britney can go on with her clean, sober church-attending life without having to piss into a bottle twice a week.

The judge is still mulling over the request, whilst roaring with laughter and holding his sides in case they split. If the request is allowed, the Chinese Women's Olympic team will probably arrive in town with a similar legal petition and a set of hopeful smiles.

In other Britney drugs news, the Canterbury Institute, a drug treatment centre in the US, has taken out a full page in the New York Daily News today proclaiming: 'DON'T DIE BRITNEY! It's time to consider a medical treatment for your drug and alcohol addictions.'

To be honest, it's a bit of a cheap publicity stunt (they did a similar one with Lindsay Lohan last month - see pic) but from her recent behaviour, does it look like the mental case is taking advice from any fucker at the moment?