WE WILL SHOCK YOU

Hold the m****rf***ing phone: Brian May has revealed to Q magazine that he didn't realise for years that Freddie Mercury was a big famous gay. Is this a wind up?

According to the learned frightwig, the general assumption was that Gay Sir Freddie was just 'flamboyant' and not homosexual. Obviously, despite all his doctorates on moons and planets, May is a bit of slow one.

"It was only in the 1980s that he started bringing men backstage who had that particular Adonis look.

"When I shared a room with him on tour in the early days I can assure you it was girls who generally stayed overnight.

"But he seemed to be what these days you would call metrosexual. He was into his hair, his clothes. He definitely led the way with regard to preening."

But look at your band name, Brian!

LOOK!

QUEEN.

QUEEN!

There are simply too many puns, too many hints:

He Will Cock You
My Fairy King
These Are The Gays Of Our Life.

These are just some of them, May. Just some of many things. It's like Lois Lane not noticing Superman is just Clark Kent with his glasses off. Next week, Brian discovers that you can still get a lady pregnant if you shag standing up. Jesus wept.