LIVE 8-LEGS

Bono is in feisty mood when talking about his upcoming project 'Spiderman The Musical', and why not? It sounds utterly brilliant, like the fast-moving action movies but without any fast-moving action, though at least audiences won't have to suffer Kirsten Dunst chewing up the scenery (literally) with those back-pointing incisors.

Also involved are The Edge, a man well-used to theatrical illusions (because he still believes that nobody knows he's bald under those ridiculous hats) and Julie Taymor, a director so bad at casting that she let little Bono totter across her last movie at chest-height.

The trio are currently searching for a New York theatre big enough to house their vision and with any luck they'll spunk their collective fortunes up the wall.

"If we pull off what we're trying," says Bono, "it will be something the likes of which no one has seen or heard," maybe like a non-pompous U2 song and video.

He gurgles on, "It should be a hallucinogenic experience for theatregoers... The myth of the arachnid and the elasticity of these characters - you can turn theatres upside down."

Or just the stomachs of the theatre-goers. And how can you concentrate on this frippery, Bono, when Burmese monks are fighting in the streets? Or do you just care about Spidermonks now?