HOUSTON, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM

Next month will see the publication of Bobby Brown's autobiography, 'Bobby Brown : The Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing But' (snappy title), in which he claims he will disclose the full facts about his stormy relationship with Whitney Houston, or alternatively, in which he will fling so much shit at her reputation that she will be struggling to stand up under the weight of sewage for some time to come

The common perception was that Whitney was a naïve young girl who fell in with a bad boy, married him and messed up her life in the process. Not so, claims Bobby, it was the other way round. He was the simple, uncomplicated soul, and anyone listening to 'Candy Girl' by New Edition might have some sympathy for his argument. Intouch magazine have some of the first juicy quotes.

"I never used cocaine until after I met Whitney. Before then, I had experimented with other drugs, but marijuana was my drug of choice. At one point in my life, I used drugs uncontrollably. I was using everything I could get my hands on, from cocaine to heroin, weed and cooked cocaine."

At least he wasn't on that horrible raw cocaine. That stuff is nasty. So poor little Bobby was taken on a roller-coaster ride by this hellcat, but why would she wish to marry him in the first place?

"I believe her agenda was to clean up her image... The media was accusing her of having a bisexual relationship with her assistant, Robin Crawford... In Whitney's situation, the only solution was to get married and have kids. That would kill all speculation, whether it was true or not."

'Whether it was true or not.' Brilliant. The book isn't out for another month and he's already hinting that Whitney may be a drug-crazed lesbian with a penchant for manipulating the media! He also reveals that he dated Madonna at one point, so this is a man who has experienced real suffering in his life. I can't wait to see what gems Chapter Two holds.