BLUR'S ALEX JAMES MAKES CHEESE, BECOMES SPECTATOR COLUMNIST

CHARMLESS MAN

Published on Tue 18 September 2007 by BOURNE

BLUR'S ALEX JAMES MAKES CHEESE, BECOMES SPECTATOR COLUMNIST

Oh dear, Alex James. Once you were the louche, bass-playing dandy in Blur. The nineties for you was a high time. There wasn't a Soho bar you hadn't drunk dry; there wasn't a toilet cistern lid you hadn't snorted coke off. Your conquests were many.

Now look at you...

You're already wearing jumbo cords, flat caps and Barbour jackets and dribbling on about living on a farm and the wanky cheese you make there.

And now you've become a political columnist for Tory rag 'The Spectator' and started advertising Agas - the ultimate in precious, prissy middle class ovens. It couldn't be any less rock 'n' roll if you were wearing doublet and hose and singing madrigals.

You fucking twat. Why don't you just fuck off.*

*And take Damon Albarn and his earnest Monkey operas with you.

Blur, Alex James, Aga, The Spectator, Joanna Trollope, Cheese, Damon Albarn, Holy Moly, Celebrity News, Gossip

pass it on print article

JESSICA'S GUFF GAFFE
LOHAN FOR GOLD
SHERLOCK BONES
SOUR CHILD O' OZZY'S
NEWSMOUND

DIRTY DAVID
LEAVE ME A-LOHAN!
PAPA DON'T BLEACH
JOLIE HARD LIFE
OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP

COMMENTS

		MrsMoon on Tue 18 September 2007 said... "There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about and that's..making cheese that stinks like a tramps scrotum and writing for right wing rag the Spectator..." what did you all expect...they were all posh home counties cunts Blur, weren't they??
		HalfdeadFred on Tue 18 September 2007 said... wanky cheesy cunts. blur are/were/will always be shite. Of course oasis was/are....just as crap
		HalfdeadFred on Tue 18 September 2007 said... how nice to see mary macca getting some work she's not trading on daddys name is she....call the rspca that dog is being abused by cheese boy
		ChunkyMunky on Tue 18 September 2007 said... How very rock and roll indeed...but I suppose if he'd continued drinking and coking himself to death so that his bloated corpse ended up rotting in a pool of his own shit in the foetal position in some fetid bedsit crack den ( my preferred end for mr p doherty ), we'd be calling him a cunt for that too! Hurrah - I love the hypocrisy of being judge and jury on HM!!
		HalfdeadFred on Tue 18 September 2007 said... actually this is very rock and roll just usually very rock and roll wife...he'll be baking bread next.
		MrsMoon on Tue 18 September 2007 said... Chunkymunky, you know its good for your soul........ Sitting from the lofty heights of moral superiority on my throne of Judgement and opening the cyber inkwell of poison...by jingo, can't tell you the effect it has on me, lets just say, you'll have no probs finding somewhere to hang your coat...and yer brolly.....
		JiggeryCock on Tue 18 September 2007 said... It was always coming to this. You can take the middle-class, public school educated, '50ft artwank' out of Colchester but you can't take the piss out of this cunt anymore 'cos he's giving it away - 'cheese', I fucking ask you!
		ChunkyMunky on Tue 18 September 2007 said... By George, indeed you're right Mrs M! It is very cathartic sitting here on high dispensing justice like jabba the hutt casting assorted scum into a pit to be dissolved alive...am getting moist now just thinking of twatting Pete Doherty, Sting, and any number of boyband fuckwits over the edge!! do you have a princess Leia costume??? And thanks for the delightful image of where to hang my coat and brolly - far better than my elephant foot umbrella stand!
		JiggeryCock on Tue 18 September 2007 said... PS He looks like Nat Lofthouse
		MrsMoon on Tue 18 September 2007 said... ...have one...i'm wearing it right now! The metal bits don't half chafe, i think i have an allergy............ I suppose Pete Doherty could be Salacious Crumb...remember that little fuck weazle???
		MrsMoon on Tue 18 September 2007 said... Jiggery...he looks more like Edna Mode.....
		ChunkyMunky on Tue 18 September 2007 said... Now that's an image good enough to make a man smile the afternoon away and create an alternative coat peg of his own!!! Could even chain Pete Doherty to the wall and take turns kicking him while he goes cold turkey!! Oh the bliss!!
		MrsMoon on Tue 18 September 2007 said... ow, fuck! Just caught my plait in the fax machine...!!!
		Twiglet on Tue 18 September 2007 said... Mrs Moon, you do make me laugh. This site has been dull since the good ole days of Lord Decider and Dick Marsh. I now rely on you to make me chuckle. Keep em coming.
		ChunkyMunky on Tue 18 September 2007 said... Hear hear!! Whatever happened to the torrent of uncensored smut from back in the good old days...nostalgia ain't what it used to be!!
		MrsMoon on Tue 18 September 2007 said... Twiglet, i thank you for your kind words but now i feel a heavy burden on my heart...i think my lung has collapsed.....fuck......!!!!!!!!!!
		MrsMoon on Tue 18 September 2007 said... chunky, twas a golden age, say 6 months or so ago...never to come again....
		josiewales on Tue 18 September 2007 said... we've long been banned twiglet
		josiewales on Tue 18 September 2007 said... Yes I am DM, trying to be good (please dont ban my 4th account, I cant be arsed keep filling them in)
		dandyboy on Tue 18 September 2007 said... Hey! I never realised we still had DM in our midsts... but then again, I'd be keeping quiet after 4 accounts too... welcome back son!
		ChunkyMunky on Tue 18 September 2007 said... hurrah! the outlaw returns!! What happened to LD then? Is he still chained to the radiator in HM's cupboard under the stairs???
		josiewales on Tue 18 September 2007 said... He had a few removals too. I guess he just lost the will to live, Like I hope that twat Geoff Wode did
		dandyboy on Tue 18 September 2007 said... I don't think Wode has resurfaced in a long time...fingers crossed anyway!
		ArseJuice on Wed 19 September 2007 said... Fuck, would I love to kick that chair from under the smug looking posh cunt!